Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

This just in: My pussy hurts. January 2, 2008

Filed under: this just in — the108 @ 7:24 pm

I pulled my vagina just now. Doing pilates of all things. I made it through cardio at six A.M. and yoga at 9:30 and my vagina finally gave out about midway through my pilates session.

This has never happened before. What does it mean? Is my vagina out of shape? Am I dealing with a lazy pussy?

I haven’t had to ice my nillies in quite a while. Currently, the Jolly Green Giant is giving me a wicked round of the cunnilingus if you know what I mean.

(That was sexy speak for me sitting on a bag of frozen corn.)

(LOL. I’ve been cornholed for real this time.)

Yoga makes me high.


Newsworthy December 6, 2007

Filed under: this just in — the108 @ 6:02 pm

This just in! Victoria Beckham sleeps naked with husband David Beckham, the singer fashion designer model justifiable celebrity wife of soccer star David Beckham tells Elle magazine.

The has been…. everything… tells her reader that there are more things to be doing with Becks than sleeping. I agree! I’d fuck him, too, and so would just about anyone. I’m put off a bit, though…

I sleep naked. Why is THIS not newsworthy???