Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

kiddie kollectors February 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 3:00 pm

I’ve decided that since all the cool kids are doing it, I’m going to adopt a couple of kids from Africa. I’ve even named them: Mason Jar and Onion.

Mason Jar and Onion are going to be my imaginary adopted African children and I think I’m going to get an imaginary nanny to take care of them so that I can continue traveling abroad being the Ambassador to Everything for the UN. In my imagination.

I’m not going to do any of this in real life because I already have four kids and I think that’s enough. I also think it’s kind of fucked up when these celebrities go baby shopping, picking up human souvenirs from every country they visit. I’m getting sick to death of it and I’m even more aggravated that people seem to think this is alright.

Remember that freaky ass Mia Farrow and her 87 adopted children? That was not okay, Mia Farrow. And now Angelina is doing it and even Madonna is stealing children from Africa and society thinks this is the greatest shit in the world. It’s like someone with a shitload of cats because they are lonely and need someone to love them only it’s not cats at all because it’s children. And they’re not adopting poor, orphaned children from here because that won’t garner these celebrities enough attention. Adopting these helpless children from other countries makes them look like humanitarians.

I have a hard time believing it’s out of love for the children. If it was one or two kids then okay…. but when you start your own football team then I think maybe it’s become an addiction.

I get so angry with the Dugger family. Do you know who I’m talking about? Those psychotic Mormons or whatever they are that have sixteen or seventeen children. You see them all the time on the Discovery channel and shit, and I watch those shows getting progressively more pissed off and aggravated and I will tell you why:

I don’t give a shit if you are wealthy and can afford it… no one should have ten or more children. I believe this because I think that children require a lot of personal attention and time spent with them by their parents and if you have that many kids then I just don’t see them each getting what they need as individuals.

I hate the Duggers most of all. They think it’s so cute every time that fucking woman is knocked up again but let’s be honest here: those kids are all freaks. And it’s because their parents will not stop having unprotected sex and continue to spit out more and more of them. As a result, they have matching clothing that is all bought at flea markets or made out of old curtains. Instead of dealing with a hundred different school schedules, the mother homeschools them all and so none of them has a social life whatsoever because all their time is spent within the ranks in the house. Each kid is responsible for the kid underneath it and it’s because the parents do not have enough eyes, ears or time to handle it all.

I cannot wait for the day one of those little shits finally comes out and tells their parents to cut it out already. I feel so badly for those kids. They are all nuts.

I have four kids and barely have enough time as a stay at home mom to make sure each and every one of them recieves my individual attention. Sixteen kids? That’s cruel.

Oh yeah… and get this:

All of the Dugger kids have names that start with the letter J. Having a theme is just as weird as, say, HAVING SIXTEEN FUCKING KIDS!

Maybe this is fucked up of me to say but this family is also very unattractive. They all dress and have hairstyles that make them look like they still live in the 80’s. And not hip, friendly 80’s…. hideously unattractive 80’s. I fucking hate people who have that many kids.

Now if you’ll excuse me… Mason Jar and Onion need to be slopped. And the nanny has the night off.


15 Responses to “kiddie kollectors”

  1. Bluepaintred Says:

    have you seen this photo?

  2. IRV Says:

    You crack me up! I thought I was the only one that hated Madonna & Anjelina for their antics with children. It seems like nothing more than a few media whores who have found yet another way to get publicity. And that other group …… there’s really nothing that justifies that.

  3. The Absurdist Says:

    My biggest problem with all of this (no offense) is that I have to pay school taxes for children that I do not have.

    I have long believed that each family should pay school taxes based upon the number of children they have.

    For example, I have no children. But my school taxes are around 3k per year. So I am subsidizing someone with more children who pay the same, a little more, or less than me. That pisses me off.

  4. Tug Says:

    I could NOT have said it better! And Blue’s picture cracked me up.

    Funny (in SO not a ‘ha ha’ way) how many countries these celebrities help, but damn…look within our borders. 😉

  5. the108 Says:

    BLUE: I have seen it and it’s hilarious!

    IRV: We are peas in a pod, you and I!

    ABSURDIST: Get out. I didn’t even know that. That’s horseshit!!!

    TUG: You said it, sister.

  6. The Absurdist Says:

    So, I take it that you are against what I was saying? I am curious. Why?

  7. the108 Says:

    ABSURDIST: Disagree? No! I didn’t know that you had to pay taxes for other people’s children. I think that it is bullshit for you to have to do that. I had no clue that that sort of thing happened.

    Did I come off wrong? No way, babe… I agree with you!

  8. The Absurdist Says:

    Ah, okay, my bad. Yes, school taxes are rolled into property taxes in almost every state; if they are not, they are billed against the property seperately.

    Property taxes are used for a variety of things; one of those things is paying for the public school system. Therefore, if I am paying property taxes, I am paying for the public school system, which means I am paying for children to attend public schools based upon the value of my property.

    So let’s say my home is appraised at $250k, and I am paying 10k a year in property taxes. Most likely, about 4k of that goes to support public schools. Now remember, I don’t have any children.

    The couple down the street has a house appraised at 190k, and they have 2 children. They pay 8k in property taxes, and about 2.5 k of that is to support the public school system.

    So you see, I am paying to support the public school system, and paying more to boot, than Mork and Mindy down the street with 2 children and a dog.

  9. Special K Says:

    1. Extended Cab truck of some sort
    2. Discovery, Comedy Central, CNN
    3. BobbyDan

    check this shit out:

    They aren’t celebritites adopting babies, but are even worse in my opinion.

    American foster kids can’t catch a break….not from celebrities or Christians…..WTF?

  10. the108 Says:

    ABSURDIST: Well, if it makes you feel any better you can simply see it as paying for the education of some kid who may grow up to be a doctor and save lives. I didn’t even know that that’s how it worked. Growing up, ou school system in Ohio went by tax levis where everyone voted within the district on what they were willing to pay taxes on. My dad was the Superintendent of our school district and so it was really important to us to get funding for schools. I remember one year the tax levy failed and then there were a ton of cuts within the teaching staffs of all the schools within the district.

    It’s cray. I suppose if I were to be honest, I’d be willing to pay extra tazxes if it meant that college would be affordable or universal for everyone who wanted an education. It would be tough but I would have to think of it as paying into my future that will rely on these children who are in school now. I’d be willing to do that. It would certainly halp out a lot of people. That being said, I fully understand the frustrations of paying for kids who are not yours. Shit, paying for kids that are mine are hard enough…LOL.

    This is an interesting subject you bring up. I’m enjoying tossing it around in my brain.

    SPECIAL K: That’s bizarre. My husbands family is Catholic and his mother had eight siblings. Then, my husband was an only child. Religion is weird.

  11. Colette, aka Lil Sis Says:

    First I want to say that I aggree that they are media whores and adopting children for all of the wrong reasons. I 100% abso-fucking-lutely aggree with you on that.

    However, just to play devil’s advocate, are they only gaining more attention because we (not necessarily meaning you or I) as a society see those children as more desparate, therefore turning them into heroines ourselves?

    I aggree that if it was just because they wanted a child they could look within our borders as our system is in desperate need, but could there be other reasons? Is it easier to adopt outside of our country? Who’s to label what child is more desperate and in need when any child in need of a parent is desperate in itself?

    Just a couple thoughts you provoked…but definitely not disagreeing. I love how you make me think.

  12. Bond Says:

    So, I guess it was wrong of me to ask Ange and ask her to pick me up three the next time she is in Africa?


    And I agree about that baby-machine family…One of those kids is going to go off and take out a school…

  13. the108 Says:

    COLETTE: I suppose there are children who are more desperate than others. Here we have foster homes and running water and food, provided that foster parents prioritize those children and aren’t just doing it for the extra 484 bucks a month they get.

    It’s NOT easier to adopt from other countries a lot of the time but sometimes it is. In our country, there is a high demand for infants which are mostly sold out through private adoptions which are very expensive. If you adopt from another country you pay your travel and lodging fees and I believe also the fees to have paperwork done where as in the states you’ll pay upwards of 20 grand or more for a private adoption.

    Meanwhile, with all these infants in such high demand, children sit in foster homes for years and teenagers rotate throughout group homes because no one wants them. However, physically speaking they are in less need than a child from a starving country with few resources however, some of these families in other countries who may have no money and struggle for food have such higher morals and a lot more love.

    I suppose that the way I see things is this:

    There is enough wealth in this world that EVERYONE could be taken care of. If our government took the money we were spending dropping bombs on other countries and used it to help then people would be able to keep their children and feed and care for them. If every person was deemed valuable enough to recieve healthcare and food and an education then it is certainly possible for the human race to accomplish this.

    People are selfish, though.

    I think that instead of these celebrities taking one or two children then they should use their millions to help fix up the hospitals and orphanages in other countries. They could use their wealth and resources if they were so inclined to help many instead of just a few. Food, medicine, running water, electricity, resources, eductation… it’s all possible. For everyone.

  14. TopChamp Says:

    regardless of the post content, the labels alone had me chuckling!

  15. Colette, aka Lil Sis Says:

    Great response. You have some great ideas. If only we truly ran the world. LOL. I’m not familiar with the adoption process and didn’t have time to research, but that’s good knowlege to have especially going into human services. Children and teens in the system beak my heart. You are absolutely correct in your ideas for the wealthy to help many rather few, and that people are selfish. Unfortunately it’s all part of one big ugly cycle.

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