Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

the newest addition January 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 6:12 pm

When purchasing a car, I have but one measly request pertaining to the color: No white. Now that I have mentioned this, I am sure you know exactly where this post is going.

Dean went car shopping yesterday and I couldn’t go instead of him because he was setting up the payments through the military allotment system and I don’t get to touch that stuff. Since I couldn’t go, I had him call me from the dealership, which was about an hour away in Belleview.

The first time he calls, he is trying to sell me on some piece of shit. I tell him, “hell no.. over my dead body are you buying that piece of shit. Call me back when you have something better.” An hour or so later, he calls me back with two options.

One option is a brand new Grand Caravan that is a pretty good color but doesn’t have any of the special perks like the stow and go seats or any crazy cool shit that could come on a car. It’s just a car. “Okay… what’s the other one?” I ask.

Kyra, this thing is insane. It’s fully loaded and has every single option you can have on it… DVD, power everything… stow and go… 6 disc CD changer… it’s fucking awesome. There is only one, small, issue.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” I enquire.

“It’s white.” he says.

At first, there was dead silence. Then, I burst out laughing. I asked if he was serious or if he was shitting me and, as it turned out, he wasn’t joking. I had a cow. I HATE white cars… especially mini vans. HATE HATE HATE them. I think they look ridiculous and Dean is fully aware of this having car shopped with me in the past. What I found so hilarious was this:

Right before Dean left, I joked with him: “Watch… you’ll find our dream car and the motherfucker will be white”.

Sho’ Nuff.

So, Dean tells me I have to make a decision. I ask to talk to Tyler, the salesman. I tell him that I hate that it’s white and he tries to tell me how it looks fantastic and the white is no issue whatsoever considering all the shit that it comes with.

Bullshit! It’s fucking WHITE! This means that we’ll be driving around for the next five years in something that closely resembles a fucking Storm Trooper. Plus, it’s a mini van so it’s liable to look like a goddamned ambulance or something. I pray that the fucking car is just “sort of” white and isn’t like, “wedding dress” white. On top of that, it’s expensive. If I choose the bad ass Storm Trooper car, I’ll be paying $32,000 for a car that is great so long as you don’t look at it.

Maybe it’s because I’m a woman or maybe it’s the huge commitment… I dunno. But the white thing really bugs me. But, I have a decision to make: Do I buy a car that’s not as cool because I like the color or do I buy the Storm Trooper and enjoy all the perks even though I hate that it looks like a refrigerator on wheels? Do I pay less for the car of great color and fore-go all the cool shit, like the swiveling seats and the DVD player that shoots down from the ceiling? What do I do, what do I do???

In the end…. I chose this:

I figure I can always have it painted.


13 Responses to “the newest addition”

  1. TopChamp Says:

    wow that’s a big car!

  2. Anndi Says:

    Does it come with a light saber?
    I can send you one.. a light saber KIT! The Chicklet asked for it for Christmas, changed her mind and I was going to take it back but can’t find the receipt and shit.. you want it?

    I want a picture of you in the gold bikini and the cinnamon roll hairdo Princess Leia sported in Star Wars.. ON the minivan… mmmm.. SSSSSSSMOKIN’!

  3. Travis Says:

    For a Star Wars geek, I would have thought you’d love to have a storm trooper car.

    Personally, I think there are only three colors for a vehicle – white, red, or black.

  4. the108 Says:

    TC: We are a big family…LOL.

    ANNDI: Hell yes! Although it does not come with a Light Saber, it does come with a car lighter. Not exactly the same thing, but what can ya do?

    TRAVIS: As a Star Wars geek, I would rather have a car that looked like the Death Star. However, I am using my love of Strom Troopers to better my opinion of the white monster we now own. I am considering having something Strom Trooper related painted on it to have a bit of fun.

  5. Rocketstar Says:

    The Storm Trooper mobile, nice!

  6. Anonymous Says:

    lol hey my love those van’s are pretty cool,I have one to and it is also white.It isn’t bad.

  7. Pam, the belly dancing queen Says:

    I drive a white Dodge van–but I’m not offended.

  8. Janna Says:

    LOL…. “Storm Trooper”…
    Ok, I’m sorry I laughed at that. 🙂

    It looks like a very nice vehicle.
    Better than the one I’m currently driving!

  9. Mr. Fabulous Says:

    Great, now I have that storm trooper theme or dark side theme, whatever the fuck, in my head.

    Don’t worry about it. You’re INSIDE the car.

  10. the108 Says:

    ROCKET: It’s growing on me…LOL.

    SHANNON: Do we have matching cars?? Cool!

    PAM: LMAO… Don’t be offended. I’m weird.

    JANNA: Wanna come over and watch dvd’s in my new car? LOL.

    MR. FAB: I think I’m good, now… but I still looked into having it painted 🙂

  11. Anonymous Says:

    yes we have matching no man getting vans.we call ours the no magnet van lol.,,but i also have a nasty old gray one to..I will give u,the ”Flintstone mobil” to you free of charge.You will have to run with it first to get up to 30 mph then you are rockin out hot in a grey pimp lookin fucker.

  12. Brian in Mpls Says:

    I dig it

  13. Carol Anne Says:

    Don’t drive that thing in a snow storm. You’ll blend right in.

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