Today will be a day dripping in fear. I will be sitting here at the house wringing my hands, pacing back and forth and sweating profusely. Today… I am sending Dean car shopping.
Remember how a couple of weeks ago Dean fell asleep at the wheel and totalled our car? Well, that has sucked because we have had no way of getting anywhere and it has been rather aggravating. Shopping for a new car is equally as aggravating, especially when you have credit that looks as gross as ours looks.
My credit is not actually all that bad. I have, like, one thing tarnishing my credit report. The problem is… I have no income. Getting someone to finance a car for us is a great, big, pain in the asshole but today things look promising. I just do not like that Dean is flying solo on this one.
I am extremely picky about the fucking car. It must seat everyone in my family-duh- but it also can’t be old and falling apart. I’m all about a used car provided the dealership offers some kind of warranty but miles are important. Considering that we are poor, I cannot commit to making payments on something for five years if it’s going to fall apart after three.
Sending Dean to take care of this is nerve wracking. I fear that he will come home with some 2000 lime green piece of shit with some 125,000 miles on it after having selected it based on the fact that it had nice looking seatbelts or a really big glove box or something. To try to prevent this sort of thing from happening, I went to the dealership website and picked out what it is I want.
I chose a 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan that has 15000 miles on it. It has the bucket seats in the back as opposed to the bench seats and it’s gray… a nice, neutral color. If offered something better, then great… but he is not to get anything shittier.
I’m afraid that he’ll just lie to me about the whole thing. He has done this with our last two cars… told me they were some odd years when they were actually older than he claimed. This pisses me off. He needs to not do this this time around. I wish like hell that I could go with him for this as I am a much better car shopper than he is. I don’t take bullshit from salesmen and I know how to finagle after all my experience with the asian women in the Czech Republic and, most importantly, I know what I want. Dean is a “settler”. He likes to be done and over with it and so he just sort of goes along with whatever. He is a car salesman’s dream where as I am a nightmare. But… I can’t go because I have to sit at home and watch the kids and stress the fuck out as he manages to take the next twelve hours to do this.
What I want is a Honda Odyssey but those things are so fucking expensive. But, man do I want one. I actually like the Dodge Grand Caravan, though. I just wish that someday I could own the car that is totally pimped out with the tv’s and the GPS and all that shit. I’d love to have the sumbitch that has the rotating seats and the table that pops up. But, right now that is a no go so I will settle for just having a way to get to the grocery for the next five years.
Please pray for Dean’s sake that he doesn’t screw this shit up today.