Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

ida hacker December 29, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 6:44 pm

I am an immoral thief and I just cannot help it. Everything I desire, I steal off the internets. I could never do this at a store, but online, I feel somewhat safe and although I know I could probably get in trouble, I’m confident that I could talk my way out of it.

And I have some crazy shit, too, like all the animation programs used by Pixar and the ones used by the guys who make South Park. Then, I use the Pixar programs to make cartoons like South Park. Because I like to be pissed off and frustrated with the stuff I steal for some reason.

When I used to work for Radtke Imaging and Photography, he hired me to do touch ups and after a little while, I was allowed behind the camera. I remember him telling me that I was going to need Photoshop and I told him that that wouldn’t be a problem at which point he explained to me that it was a very expensive program. He said he would get it for me so that I could work from my computer at home as well as his. “It’s okay, I said. I’ll have it within an hour.”

I called him back about fifteen minutes later and told him we were good to go. When he asked me how in the hell I it, I admitted that I ganked it off the internet and he was amazed that that could be done.

“But you need a serial number!” he said.

“Yeah… got it.” I replied.

There is rutha a lot of illegally obtained shit right here under my fingers and I wish I could say that I feel bad about it, but I don’t.

Some people think that pirating music is wrong and although I agree with this, I don’t pay for that shit, either. If I have a really strong respect for an artists then I’ll buy an album but other than that, I just snatch it offline and enjoy it from there. I don’t burn off a million copies and bootleg them but I do burn my own copies. This gets the great music lovers really mad at me. It’s sort of funny, though that the music lovers never have anything bad to say about me stealing movies.

I have Sweeney Todd downloading right this very second.

Most of the great movies I’ve seen this year were right in here in my house the day after they hit the theaters. I am a very, bad girl.

Yesterday, I stole myself a real treat off the internet, the latest version of Photoshop. I had CS2 and now I have that and CS3. As is typical every time I get a new program, I fucking hated it for the first hour or so until I figured everything out.

CS3 is very similar to CS2 with only a few minor changes and some differences in the presets and plug ins. It’s also got some pretty weird new menus and what not but after getting pissed at it for a while, I discovered that they had greatly improved a lot of the selection options and this made pretty much everything I do on it much faster and cleaner looking.

I’m a Photoshop-a-holic. I admit this. I will spend hours screwing around on it like a kid with a coloring book and a set of crayons. I’ll have about 25 layers to a picture and I’ll just be going nuts. If I could honestly make a profession out of “artistic” photography, I would in a second but the problem is:

I can’t steal a decent camera off the internet.

They need to make that possible.

The above picture was taken by me yesterday after Matt insisted I give him a mohawk. I removed his double chin, blurred out the background and added some effects to the whole thing and had it been taken with a camera that knows how to focus, it would have the potential of being a good picture.

It’s frustrating, I tell ya.

Since we’re destitute, we make a killing on our tax returns. We need new couches and I also want to pay ahead on our bills. But, I’m also wondering if I shouldn’t get a better camera and start charging people again to take their pictures. With a good camera and some mad photoshopping skillz, maybe I could make some extra money. Just working as a photographer’s assistant I made twenty bucks an hour. I made about a hundred bucks per shoot to just hand him things and then on the days I was lucky, snap a few shots, and a hundred bucks for three hours of work was great but the real money came from the touch ups. This guy paid me twenty to thirty bucks an hour to do his touch-ups and that equated to a LOT.

I can do my own touch ups so it seems only smart to do the same thing. Only, I won’t have to pay anyone.

The second photographer I worked for was far more of an artist than Radtke was and we did a lot of shoots in the middle of the night with various digital flashes and all sorts of bizarre equipment. Where as Radtke saw me as his touch-up technician, this guy saw me as an asset and frequently had me direct the photo shoots. He also let me take a lot more pictures for him and I was in heaven. I love photography.

Methinks it a good career choice.


4 Responses to “ida hacker”

  1. EC Says:

    That sounds like me now that SOMEONE (hint, hint YOU) told me where to get all this stuff from. You’d be so proud at the stuff that I’ve stolen, lol.

    I can’t wait to get my CS3!!!

  2. Mr. Fabulous Says:

    I think you should definitely get a camera. In the long run you will make a lot of money and be fulfilled creatively, at least up to a point.

    I have you booked for Feb 10. Does that work for you?

  3. the108 Says:

    ERIN: Not only do I steal, but I help others steal as well 🙂

    MR. FAB: Sounds good… what are we doing? Is this the singing thing or will we be performing a radio burleque?

  4. Starrlight Says:

    Oohh…haxorzing the intarweb for warzs!

    Did I mention my ex is an Intel Geek? I don’t think I had a legit OS for the first 10 years I was on the web 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s