Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

The Boy December 4, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 1:15 am

My oldest kid, Matthew, likes to read which is very fortunate because he has to read for homework for a minimum of thirty minutes each day. The boy has breezed through every book he has in this house and is, according to his teacher, reading way above his grade level. I think that’s pretty cool because when I was Matt’s age, I was reading just about everything I could get my hands on and when there was nothing left, I dug around in my older brother’s school books or my mom’s medical encyclopedias and I just sucked it all down. Naturally, I think it’s wicked cool to see Matt read way past his thirty minutes every evening.

In my house, you will see Dean, Matt, Owen and Olivia all on various video games and then you will see me curled up somewhere with a book. I’m the obvious dork in the house. It is pretty much guaranteed at this point that if I want someone else to read something then I’d better just stick the material right there in the bathroom next to the toilet. No kidding. But now I have Matthew of all people curled up on the other end of the couch with his nose wedged between the pages of a book and I’m digging it.

My only issue is that I often times don’t like what he’s reading. It’s none of my damn business what he chooses to read and the bigger part of me is just thrilled that he does it at all so I don’t really complain. However, I do try to manipulate him and I also whine a lot. My kids are the types that will choose books based on cartoons or movies or t.v. shows and this grates on my nerves in the worst way. This will lead to arguments:

Matt: I want this Star Wars book.

Me: That? That’s trash. How about this one here?

He: What’s that one called?

Me: War and Peace.

He: It’s really long.

Me: It’s really not, though. The print is gigantic.

He: That print is tiny.

Me: Yeah, but it goes by really fast.

He: What’s it about?

Me: I dunno.

He: You haven’t read it?

Me: Hell, no. That book is long. And I hear it’s really boring.

Okay, so sometimes my attempts are feeble at best but I do try pretty hard to steer the boy in a better direction. Dean compromises by allowing him to pick out something retarded so long as he also picks out something decent. This tends to work pretty well.

Maybe if I can get my head out of my ass then someday he’ll be reading a book that I wrote.

Who knows.


6 Responses to “The Boy”

  1. Travis Says:

    Good deal that he’s already reading. It’s tough to get kids to like it. Much better if they try and like it right from the start.

  2. EC Says:

    I bet he would LOVE to read a book you wrote – hint hint 😉

  3. Kevin Says:

    My 6th grader is the same way. She absolutely LOVES to read. Loves it. Goes through 2 or 3 books a week. She occasionally reads books that are based on cartoons…like Pokemon or something…but those are typically written for younger kids and she’s only reading them because she can do it in under 20 minutes. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever read a book that’s based on a movie. If a movie is made FROM the book, such as Ella Enchanted or The Princess Bride or Bridge to Terebithia…she’ll try to read the book BEFORE seeing the movie. I tell her that she might not enjoy the movie as much if she reads the book first because the movie invariably changes or leaves stuff out. Sometimes she listens, sometimes not.

    She has an assload of books on CD as well, and she’ll listen to those as she’s falling asleep.

    All this reading shows in her schoolwork as well. She’s reading at a 12th grade level, and she is light years ahead of her classmates when it comes to writing. And even though she’s in 6th grade, because of her age she should really be in 5th. But…when she was 3 and in preschool…and the teacher had her read the story to the class becasue the teacher’s throat was sore…we pretty much figured she should be in kindergarten the following year.

  4. Susie PSU Says:

    I’ve never read War and Peace, either. Do you think ANYONE has actually READ it??

  5. Lois Grebowski Says:

    Bravo to the reader! There are some good action advenutre classics available.

    Hubby’s girls grew up reading as well. NO computer games growing up. (They’re now 20 & 23) Enterainment was a good book.

    Hubby always says, you don’t read a book…you mine it.

    Maybe the two of you could read books togehter and discuss them? Kinda like a mom-son book club.

  6. the108 Says:

    TRAV: You’re not kidding. Sometimes I just have to let him read what he wants…LOL.

    ERIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah 😛

    KEVIN: That’s impressive! I hope Matt continues to be as interested in reading, too. It’s so very good for the mind.

    SUSIE: Uh… no?

    LOIS: That’s a very good idea. He does love to discuss books after he finishes them.

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