Behold… the great animated movie making sensation debuts with this holiday montage to the great beings of Christmas….
I own a lot of high tech, fancy-schmancy animation programs for my computer. I have the one that the makers of South Park use and I have the program that Pixar uses to make all of their award winning movies. I get these programs with the high hopes of using them to further my creative needs and often hope that they will provide me a great outlet for my mania. After screwing around with these programs on many occasions I have learned something:
Animation is a real bitch.
Holy shit. You have to be the most patient person on the planet to make animated movies. I’m not kidding. It is quite possibly the most frustrating thing I have ever attempted and to be blatantly honest here… I suck at it. I do not like sucking at things.
I’m just a tad bit of a perfectionist, something bolstered by my obsessive compulsive disorder and for someone like me, animation is a nightmare. It involves moving things a millimeter and then stopping the track pointers, moving them another millimeter, stop, move, stop, move, stop… you get the idea. Then, if you want to add sound you have to try to get the movements to match up with the audio and it is a big, fat pain in the ass.
The people who animate full feature length movies are gluttons for punishment. I cannot even imagine what that must be like. Even now that the animation world has moved to digital and is “so much easier” to do, it is still an undertaking of humongous proportions. I used the exact same programs to make my video up there above us and it took me forever. And, the thing is like, three minutes long.
I am baffled and challenged by these programs and it’s mainly because I really do not like knowing that there are mysteries out there that I have not solved. It took me about 24 hours to figure out just about every single possible thing you can do with Photoshop and I find it ridiculously easy to learn new things with it. However, I open up these animation programs and am immediately sent into a panic because I simply have no idea what the hell is going on.
I do all the tutorials and I still have no clue. As “easy” as it’s supposed to be, each and every stage of the animation process takes about fifty different tasks and it’s hard to even remember what to do at all much less bust out with some gorgeous display of movie making genius.
My video is just about as basic as it gets and the only good that came of the whole thing is that it is so terribly made that it is hilarious. In my defense, I allowed the perfectionist in me to take a vacation day because I thought that the shittier it looked, the funnier it would be. And you know that I just love to make myself giggle.
So, have a bit of a watcher, will ya, and tell me what you think of my animated movie debut. It is written by, produced, directed, animated and starring myself. It is…. glorious.