Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

so much excitement December 1, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 6:48 pm

My kids are collectors of toothbrushes and nothing makes them happier than receiving new toothbrushes and other oral healthcare paraphernalia. Each one of my kids owns no less than ten toothbrushes and they each have a particular toothpaste that they like to use as well.

Olivia has toothbrushes that range from Strawberry Shortcake to My Little Pony to Hello Kitty with a whole shitload of funky looking toothbrushes in between. Owen has Spiderman and The Hulk and just about every Superhero and villain one could stick in their mouth while Matt has a collection of Star Wars ones.

Let me put it this way: Our children receive toothbrushes as gifts at this point. And, I’m not kidding, either. Christmas stockings, Easter baskets…. they get oral hygiene tools. Because it is what they ask for. They see commercials for different toothbrushes and then they beg us for them. It’s really quite weird but I’m not going to go around complaining or anything because there could be far worse things they so desired. But, we have just a shit ton of the things in the house and still I continue to buy them.

Guess what?? We somehow juggled our bills so that after this shitty paycheck of $350 bucks we still got everything paid, got food and had money left over to do some St. Nick’s shopping. While I was scouring Walmart for inexpensive trinkets to put in their stockings (shhhh… don’t tell) I came across the Crest Pro whitening spin brush, some electric toothbrush that comes in cool colors. I had been thinking about getting the Little’s some electric toothbrushes since they are so uncoordinated as it is with brushing and so I decided to buy each of them one in a different color: blue for Matt, green for Owen and purple for Olivia.

Well, they just about shit their pants in excitement. It baffles me, really, that these kids get so fucking excited over toothbrushes. They are brushing their teeth every thirty seconds and carrying the things around with them everywhere they go. “Gotta brush my teeth, mom… be right back!” they say.

For St. Nick’s, I picked them up some little trinkets that I knew they’d like: Crayola craziness for miles and miles. I got them the entire line of Crayola Total Tools which looked sort of cheap but are actually wicked awesome. I grabbed them up some markers and colored pencils and all kinds of cheap shit to artistically engage them. My kids are very artistic. It’s normal for kids to get into that sort of thing…. but toothbrushes?

They want the toothbrushes that sing when you brush and I saw them and considered buying them those but I really thought the electric ones would be far more useful for the challenged ones in the house. It paid off, though, because they think they are all high tech and impressive and Owen says that it is his favorite present he has ever gotten.


They are currently in the bathroom discussing their plan to brush after every bite they eat today. And, they’re not kidding. Through breakfast they got up repeatedly to brush. Take a nibble, run off to brush, take a nibble, run off to brush…. on and on and over and over again. It took them about an hour to get through their bagels.

I’ll just add this to the ever growing list of reasons why my kids are freaks.


6 Responses to “so much excitement”

  1. Travis Says:

    The toothbrush thing? That is freakishly endearing.

    Are you getting any snow down your way today?

  2. the108 Says:

    TRAV: Yeah, we’ve actually had it coming down all afternoon. It’s heavy but very wet so we’ll see how long it lasts…LOL.

  3. Julie Says:

    My mom told me many many years ago that if I dreamed about my teeth falling out that I was a masturbator!

    Geez…she is right so often!!

    But seriously….good dental care is so important. Maybe they’ll be dentists when they grow up!

  4. Matt-Man Says:

    Freaks maybe, but nothing wrong with a kid who LIKES to brush his or her teeth. Cheers Kyra!!

  5. Turnbaby Says:

    We always used to get things like toothbrushes, pencils, rulers, erasers etc in out stockings.Really. Why do you think I am the geek that I am 😉

  6. TopChamp Says:

    ah – that is good. Julie’s comment abot masturbation and teeth dream’s is disturbing though. I thought it was insecurity?

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