Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

deep thoughts November 28, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 7:00 pm

I can’t help but notice that a lot of witches and wizards are butt ugly and I have to question why that is. If I were a witch I would most certainly transform myself into an extremely thin and attractive woman and I would stay like that all the time. Instead, you always see these fugly, old witches with stringy hair and giant warts on their noses or old, fat wizards with ten foot long beards and bony fingers. My question is: Why?

In wizard and witch society, is it acceptable to be ugly? Preferred? I am wondering if perhaps they simply don’t care about looks at all as we humans do. Maybe this is because they are smarter and wiser or maybe it has to do with the fact that they have super powers and pretty much know that they are awesome regardless of what they look like.

But then you see those magical folk who live in society with the rest of us and they always wear funny clothes and act sort of eccentric and don’t exactly blend in. If they are trying to blend in and look human then you would think that they would at the very least want to be an attractive human. Maybe it is how they are raised. Since they are like this from birth, it is simply not in their nature to care as it is in ours. We have been brainwashed since birth that we should look a certain way and maybe they just had it a little better in regards to that.

I suppose had I been born a witch I may not care either but the fact remains that I was not born a witch at all and so I do care. Maybe this is why I firmly believe that if I woke up tomorrow and discovered that I could snap my fingers and suddenly transform into a figure of great beauty then I probably would. And by “probably” I mean “definitely”. And, I don’t think I’m the odd man out, here, either. I think that anyone who had been born a human or born with magical powers and was unaware of this who suddenly discovered they could transform themselves into something else… would. As humans, most of us are unsatisfied with at least one area of ourselves physically that we find needs improvement.

Imagine how liberating it must be to be a witch or a wizard and feel totally okay with being ugly. I wonder if you are an ugly wizard if you are attracted to ugly witches and vise versa. It makes me wonder what in the hell they are attracted to since they are all pretty much awesome anyway.

On a sort of related note and only because all of my talk of warts has got me thinking:

You know those famous, beautiful women who have what they call “beauty marks”? Like Marylin Monroe or Cindy Crawford who have big moles on their faces that they just love and think are ridiculously hot? I wonder if one day either of them went to the doctor and were told, “That’s a melanoma. You have cancer and will most likely die.” if they would consider them to be “beauty marks” any more or if they would feel like morons. Can you imagine making your career off of a mole only to discover that that mole had it in for you from the beginning? That would be something right there.

Boy do I have a lot to think about today.


5 Responses to “deep thoughts”

  1. Bond Says:

    pssssssssssssst….witches and warlocks are in the movies and books…they are not real…

    Just making sure you know….

  2. Rocketstar Says:

    I think it stems from the entire “evil folklore” around withces and wizards that always prtrayed them as evil and ugly.

    Remember also that Samantha Stephens from Bewitched was HOT. I pulled quite a few off in my younger days thinking of her.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Beauty Marks have been sought after since the days of Cleopatra. Moles are NOT beauty marks….moles are raised, beauty marks are subdermal (flat) and they are very attractive. To prove a point Hottiedots! created some great ones to wear anytime! Fun and instant glam! Women don’t need to paint them on anymore and have to worry about smudging! Cool! See them at

  4. Ian Thomas Healy Says:

    Ever see the movie Warlock with Julian Sands? Man, I’m not gay, but I’d have totally done him.


  5. the108 Says:

    BOND: Um… they’re NOT???

    ROCKET: That is very good to know πŸ™‚

    ANONYMOUS: Are you fucking kidding me?

    IAN: Also very good to know πŸ™‚

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