Perhaps I would make a better lawyer than I thought.
Here, all this time, I was going on and joking about law school and all that shit but then I went head to head with the landlord’s lawyer over this eviction craziness…
We’re not being evicted, y’all! We get to keep our home! And we did it alll by ourselves since our lawyer accidentally almost fucked us up the butt. We had called him when we got the lawsuit paperwork and said something sort of along the lines of, “Um. What do we do with this, exactly?”
“Just bring it to my office and I’ll deal with it,” he replied.
“You know it has to be in in one week, right?” We asked.
“Yep. I’ll have it done and ready on Monday morning and then I’ll have you pick up your copies and I’ll fax over what I need to.”
“Okay, then,” we said gratefully. “We’ll see you on Monday morning!”
On Monday morning we arrived at his office and he had forgotten to do it. Shit. You have got to be kidding me! After recovering from the crippling heart attacks Dean and I both had, we realized that we had 24 hours to locate, fill out, and write up our response and request to appear in court over the matter… and then file them with the courts. So, we did and then we overnighted copies all over creation and faxed copies everywhere else and then sat back and waited to get our summons which we assumed we have in a week or so.
Well. I think we scared them off or something because last night I got the phone call telling me that they had dropped the suit and we were free FREE to remain content in our home. I think they thought we’d see that fighting it was more trouble than it was worth only they do not know us. They underestimated us, hee hee. This was a fun phone call:
Them: Mrs. Muchmore, I’m calling to let you know that we have decided to drop the eviction suit and that we have stopped all the proceedings.
Me: Oh, REALLY???? WHY-EVER would you do that????
Them: Uh… just because.
Me: I see. Well, thank you for letting me know.
Them: Your welcome.
Me: Oh, and I’m going to be needing something in writing…
WOO HOO!!! I’m thinking maybe O.J. should give me a call. Except that I wouldn’t touch his guilty ass with a ten footer, if you know what I mean. But, still.
So, one battle down and now we just get to deal with going toe to toe with the United States Army which is a liiiittle bit bigger than dealing with our landlords, who were quite big themselves considering they are a multi million dollar nationwide corporation. Who just had their asses handed to them by me, the108, who is awesome and somewhat excited right now and blabbering on arrogantly even though I know damned well that I’m not as fan-fuckin’-tastic as I think I am.
But this is my moment, so just let me have it. I… am an awesome lawyer. And if you’d like to see another awesome lawyer at work then feel free to check out the video I attached: