Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

Hypothetical Question August 15, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 12:28 am

I have a hypothetical question for all of you. I’m going to describe a certain scenario and I want you to imagine it is your scenario and then tell me what you would be thinking. I shall describe this situation specifically for the ladies for the sake of detail, but you men just turn the tables and imagine it is you instead.

Okay, so your hubby (or wife for you men) is the main driver of a specific car that he keeps pretty trashed all the time but has recently cleaned it out. This car has a console, a glove box and a drawer underneath the front passenger side seat.

You have not been in this car for months.

Then say you, for whatever reason, are in the car and he is not. You start poking around because you’re bored and he is taking forever running into a store and you have nothing better to do besides snoop around. After all… it is your car, too and you are curious.

So, you open up the drawer under the passenger side seat where you are sitting and in this drawer you find a few pieces of junk mail, a CD case and a cell phone you have never seen before. It is not your cell phone nor is it your husband’s cell phone and when he gets back in the car, you ask him about it.

Say then that the husband tells you that he’s never seen this phone before in his life and hasn’t a clue how it got there. Then, say you power it on and poke through it and find it to be…. really, really empty. There is only one unnamed phone number in the phonebook but there are a number of calls back and forth in the call log all to the same number. Then say you hit the send button right then and there and dial that fucker but no one picks up.

Imagine if you suddenly saw the screen saver on the phone pop up and discover that it is butterflies, making it obviously belonging to a woman.

Now, your husband still says that he has never seen it before in his life and perhaps it belonged to the wife of some guy he gave a ride to last week and he must have dropped it in the car.

Somehow, he managed to drop it right into your drawer and is so unconcerned about it that he hasn’t asked your husband if he has seen it. And, of course, your husband is still saying he has never ever before seen this phone and has no idea how it made it’s way there.

Say this is the same husband who called you two weeks ago and told you he was working late and then when you tried to reach him at his job hours later you discovered that he had been off for hours. It might be the same husband who then came home at 2 in the morning still claiming to have been at work until you tell him that you called there and know damned well that he wasn’t. Then, just to make it interesting, say the husband then tried to tell you that he went to a bar BY HIMSELF for the past five hours and just sat there all alone.

So. Mystery cell phone that the (female) owner has made no attempt to call or locate or inquire about in a drawer (not on the floor) of your husband’s car and he is dumbfounded about it.

Tell me, hypothetically speaking of course, what do you think is going on here???


27 Responses to “Hypothetical Question”

  1. ian Says:


    Oh my.

    I’m sure I’ve drawn the same conclusion you already have. From an outsider’s perspective, it’s pretty obvious to me what’s going on here.

    It’s probably not *her* phone; it’s his. He uses it to call her. I bet it uses prepaid minutes so there’s no bill. She’s got one too with one number on it. There are prearranged times that it is all right to call. I’m sure they precede calls with innocuous text messages making sure the coast is clear.

    Tread carefully. You are being lied to.


  2. Twyla Says:

    I have a knot in my stomach after reading that post. I really don’t have any business saying anything, but I think you know what is going on.
    It happened to me for a year before I found out. All the signs were there, and I knew deep down it was happening. I just didn’t want to believe it.

  3. the108 Says:

    It is a prepaid phone. And one of the pieces of “junk mail” was a thing with the password to his new credit card that he got that I didn’t know about.

  4. Travis Says:

    Doesn’t look good for the hypothetical husband.

  5. briliantdonkey Says:

    Doesn’t sound good at all. Hope you haven’t already given him that hypothetical birthday gift.


  6. Sparky Duck Says:

    ok, real quickly, my screen saver is of a chick from maxim on the phone, but the old one was in fact a sort of sci fi flower thing. and i am truly a guy.

    now overall, I would be concerned about the fact that it is very empty almost like a throw away, taking the past MIA incidents, hypothetically of course, out of the equation.

    i could be an idiot though

  7. ~paige~ Says:

    this sucks kyra. you better not have given him butt sex last night.
    honestly though, i am a girl who has been very cheated on in the past by someone who i thought (after 9 years) i could trust. same sort of deal (hidden mail, secret cell phone, always working late but magically not to be found at work). it was the hardest thing i ever went through but i kicked his ass to the curb and i did survive it.
    sit him down and remind him how intelligent you are so that he doesn’t think he can lie his way around it. demand he tell you everything. if you get the chance, get that phone from him and keep calling the number

  8. Julie Says:

    Sweetie, don’t jump to conclusions. Get answers…be proactive not reactive. I’m sorry to whoever this is happening to.

  9. Bond Says:

    OH my…. ummmm well it has been said, so i do not have to…did you ask about the credit card?

    SMOOCH and HUGS dear….you need them

    Tell us the answer to the riddle please….

  10. ~paige~ Says:

    he killed himself

  11. Brian in Mpls Says:

    Hey now I go to the bar by myself all the time!!!

    But the phone not good. As a player I can tell you that I have two phone two numbers and two names.I can also tell you that I would keep my valet key on my key ring so that my glove box would always be locked and no one could access it.

    I would vote for shady

  12. Frantic Puppy Says:

    Sounds sketchy. How long have you, I mean, has this person had the car. Is it possible that that phone was in the drawer when the car was bought….although there was junk mail with it…so one would have to assume the existence of the phone was known. Hmm….yes sounds sketchy.

    When one person has percieved control(ie: the job, the car, etc,)one tends to think their shit is more important. That same person may take advantage of certain situations, believing that thier mate is perfectly ok being home(trapped)all day and is unaware of the world outside. So said “trapped” person must do what they have to in order to gain initial control of the situation, hopefully leading to equality in the relationship.

    That being said, If this behavior is habitual…get the fuck out. If this is a first, check out the why’s and go from there.

  13. Madame Butterfly Says:

    things aren’t always what they seem.I would just have the person call the number until someone answers and will be asking about a CC.Then take actions..

  14. the108 Says:

    You know, Anonymous….

    You’re not REALLY so anonymous when I have your ip address labeled in my stat counter and the comment box logs your time.

    You’ve turned into a really judgemental bitch, you know that??? The “thief” stole to feed his children (which you know because you’ve read my blog since the beginning)… your comment was ignorant. But, I don’t expect you to understand since you neither have any children, nor do you have a man that does anything but come over for dinner and a booty call before leaving again.

    Stop being such a fucking bitch. When it comes to relationships, I have zero reason to listen to anything you might be able to contribute based on your track record. So fuck off and don’t leave your pussy comments here.

  15. the108 Says:

    Mr. Vinny, my love… the answer to the riddle will be posted shortly. I forgot about it… ack!!

    And to the person who asked… we’ve had the car for a year and the cell phone is DEF a new addition to it.

    He is adamantly denying all of this and is getting angry that I would believe this stuff. He’s offering a polygraph as though I’m going to take him on Maury Povich or something.

    Remember Boobs from the miltary ball??? Dean has confessed that he has given her rides a few times and that he didn’t want to tell me but she is actually in his section at work. He didn’t want to tell me this because I’m such a bitch that I would have freaked out. I explained to him that after her sexual behavior towards him at the ball with me sitting right there, he’s goddamned right I’m freaking out. Especially knowing that they’ve been alone in the car together.

    But it has been turned around on me… he has to lie to me so I don’t get upset and he is the one who decides what will upset me so I don’t get a chance. I told him that the cell phone thing would have gone down a lot differently had he just said, “Yeah, I forgot about that thing. I give people rides a lot and someone left it in here and so I threw it in the drawer while cleaning out the car. I need to figure out who’s that is.”

    Instead, he said, “I’ve never seen that before in my life” which is the most obvious lie ever and if he was so quick to lie about that…

    It’s fucking bullshit. He says he’s just fucked now because I won’t trust him even when he’s telling the truth and I’m fucked because I don’t trust him or know what the truth is and so it goes like this: I get sad and depressed and Dean gets really, really pissed off. I hate it and I won’t get anywhere and he just keeps coming back to…”well you won’t let me have female friends!!!” except that the last female friend he had was through a fake email address that he hid from me and Boobs…??? Are you kidding?? She was all over him with me sitting there! I don’t even want to know what she is like when I’m not!!!

    I’d like to not care anymore about anything.

  16. Thomas Says:

    You’re divorcing him, anyway, so it seems to me that the point is moot.

  17. the108 Says:

    Damn, Tommy… it doesn’t make it suck any less….

  18. Dixiechick Says:

    Oh my Kyra, I have been totally there with my deadbeat ex. Same boat as Paige.. My ex was sneaky but I was much sneakier… I caught his ass… and now the SOB is paying dearly!

    You know where I am if you need anything.

  19. ~paige~ Says:

    kyra…hang in there.
    the comment that ‘anonymous” wrote was rude. people like to hide on the internet and post rude shit that they would never ever have the balls to say in real life. it is a chicken shit way to make a stand.
    i think dean is on the defenisve and flipping it around on you because you are smart and you are not falling for his shit. that is his only defense mechanism. be strong sister

  20. Susie PSU Says:

    Damn. Doesn’t look good for the hypothetical husband, does it? Or for you.
    We’ve almost all had one cheating sack o’ shit in our lives. Do what you need to do…

  21. Anthony Says:

    The combination of circumstances would lead to only one conclusion. One that I’m sure you have already formulated in your head.
    If that phone belonged to me, I’d sure as Hell be looking for it, and it wouldn’t be sitting in someone’s car for very long, I can guarantee you that.

    There are a lot of things that are adding up to a big “negative”.

  22. Colette, aka Lil Sis Says:

    And here I was stressed about my finals weeks with Logan’s birthday. I could say I’m so sorry but that wouldn’t accomplish much nor would it make you feel any better. So I will say this. You are smart, resourceful and love your children. Go with your gut, and move with it.

    Nothing will make any of this easier and I won’t pretend or joke to make you feel better because I HAVE been there. I am always here if you need to talk love. You have my email. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve read! =(

  23. Starrlight Says:

    Oh my indeed.

    If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…it’s a duck.

  24. The109 Says:

    Um… I have been smeared all over the damn internet. QUACK FUCKING QUACK, eh? Except I am not a duck and I am not a fucking cheater and never have been. I am, however, thrilled to know that all of you armchair marriage counselors have been so quick to assume I am the scum of the earth, that assumption seems to be a running theme. Oh and I notice that I am the last to know about my impending divorce although it is fantastic that you all are up to speed on my family life. So, I guess you can all be around to cheer my wife on as she takes everything because I don’t plan to ask for anything and you can all offer up your wonderful wisdom to our four children when they don’t understand why daddy is an asshole and needed to be kicked to the curb. No, it’s okay, don’t show me the door, I will see myself out.

  25. Sparky Duck Says:

    i think im insulted duck wise

  26. EC Says:

    Man…. wow….. how horrible for you because we all know what hypothetical man is doing, and that just plain sucks 😦

    That might just explain who the commenter is as well 😦

  27. Rocketstar Says:

    Wow, I need to come by more often.

    If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.

    If the cell phone batery still was charged, then it was recently left in the glove box. So it has not been long. So it should have been, “Oh, I gave Jane Doe a ride home on Wednesday, it must be hers.”

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