Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

Mrs. Robinson August 6, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 4:36 pm

I remember when Maxxim Magazine was doing a countown on when MaryKate and Ashley Olsen would turn 18 making them of legal age to discuss sexually. I CRACKED up every issue when I’d see “3,476 days until MaryKate and Ashley turn 18!!!”

I’ll be damned if I don’t have kids of the age where I am often subjected to television shows and movies that have pretty hot, young actors in there that I guiltily find attractive. I have cursed the production companies for making minors look so damn good as it is just a tease. There are quite a few of these guys that look like prison bait but I am pleased to be able to say that each and every one of them is of legal age. This post is my way to pay tribute to those who I have secretly and ashamedly fantasized about thinking that they were all teenagers:

Drake Bell: Drake Bell is only hot by looks alone as I have seen him in interviews and while hosting certain events and I think maybe he is a big, fuckin’ asshole. He is best known for his portrayal as Drake Parker on the show Drake and Josh but has since held quite a lucrative music career having been trained by Roger Daltry since the age of nine. In 2005 he was a victim in a serious car accident that broke his neck and tore giant holes in his face requiring 70 stitches, reconstructive surgery and oral surgery when he lost his teeth. Worrying that he wouldn’t be able to sing again, he went through a load of speech therapy and has come back hotter than ever.Granted, he is still an arrogant dick, but at least he is legal.

Portrays a character that is 16 years old.
Actual age: 21
D.O.B- June 27th, 1986

Tom Felton: You know him as Draco Malfoy in the immensely popular Harry Potter series of movies although he has had a pretty good career prior to Harry Potter over there across the pond. I have to admit that I think he’s a big dork as his favorite hobby is fly fishing and his favorite sport is my least favorite sport, basketball. So, other than the fact that he is terribly good looking, we have nothing in common and are completely incompatible. Except maybe as lovers.

Character he plays is 17.
Actual age: 19
D.O.B-September 22nd, 1987

Lucas Grabeel: Lucas Grabeel is known as his role of Ryan Evans in the Disney movies High School Musical and High School Musical 2. His character is a sexually questionable teen who stars in all of the school’s theater productions with his twin sister. He comes off as being extremely flamboyant and quite a bit idiotic but… the guy can sing. Naturally, that’s the first thing I found attractive. Then, I googled him and discovered that when he’s not wearing funky hats, he’s really quite hot.

Character he plays is 16 years old.
Actual age: 22
D.O.B. November 23rd, 1984

Daniel Radcliffe: Another Harry Potter minion, this guy was considered pretty fugly until he got older and got neckid in the play Equus. Nothing has ever made me wish I was a horse before that point. As Mr. Potter has gotten older, he has gotten much better looking and I can even consider him hot. Especially since he has turned a legal age over the summer.

Character he plays is 17.
Actual age is 18
D.O.B.- July 23rd, 1989

Shia Labeouf: Shia Labeouf hit the scene in the Disney show Even Stevens and even back then, we knew he was way above Disney and far beyond being too good for them. Working through his contract with them, he ended his run in the movie Holes and has since been making a name for himself on the Indie circuit and Project Green Light. Now, he has been hitting the big screen with lead roles in movies like Disturbia and more recently, The Transformers. Dean and I have always been big fans of his and now… he is hot. And more importantly, he is hot and legal.

Average character age: 15-17.
Actual age- 21
D.O.B- June 11th, 1986

Zac Efron: Like Lucas Grabeel and Shia Labeouf, Zac Efron found his fame under the Disney Empire and has also discovered that he is too good for them. Making his name with High School Musical, he has since moved on as quickly away from Disney as humanly possible by breaking his contract with them to do the movie Hairspray. Rumor has it that he is set to play Frank Sinatra in a biopic about his life. Must be those sexy baby blues…

Character age- 16
Actual age: 19
D.O.B- October 18th, 1987

Next week… I shall explore the young female hotties….

I can’t be the only one my age who is relieved to hear that teenagers she found sexy are actually adults… can I???

And if I am… so what. Hotness knows no age so long as it is 18 and up. Okay… 16 and up but that’s not to be publicly admitted.


6 Responses to “Mrs. Robinson”

  1. Rocketstar Says:

    One of the worst castings i ever saw was in the show “Nip Tuck”, a great first season but the actor that played the Senior in high school was in his thirties, obviously balding etc…

    The sexualization of youth in this country is out of hand.

  2. Anndi Says:

    Speking of happy trails.. Daniel Radcliffe. YUMMY

  3. the108 Says:

    Rocket: The worst case I ever saw was that Gabrielle Carteris chick on Beverley Hills 90210 who was 33 and playing a high school student…lol.

    Anndi: Yea, REALLY! Where did THAT come from??? He was once an 11 year old dork and now he is… smokin’. I also have pictures of him totally neckid and lemme just tell you about his ass… HOT DAMN.

  4. amanda Says:

    you have successufully freaked me out. which is an accomplishment, because you have yest to freak me out on your blog. 🙂

  5. the108 Says:

    Amanda: Puh-lease! You’d be right there with me if a couple of these hotties were looking to score. It would be the perfect opportunity for us to continue the dick sucking lessons we started all those years ago…

    Besides… you have the same M.O with guys I do… skinny,slightly bizarre looking… don’t even try to tell me that you don’t want to take a nibble at Radcliffe’s belly 🙂

  6. Sparky Duck Says:

    you will notice that my hotties are always 18 and up. Can’t be getting in any meghans law spots

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