the108

Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

Fine Line? August 1, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 9:19 pm

The latest thing these days is fasting. I’m reading about it in every magazine and all over the internet. I’m even considering giving it a whirl but IU’m very confused about it.

I’m not understanding what the difference is between a fast and an eating disorder. It seems that a fast is considered a noble thing especially if you do it for religious or health reasons and an eating disorder is a bad thing.

Problem is… they don’t seem to have any real differences.

The most famous “fast” is called the Master Cleanse. The idea behind this one is that you force your body to rid itself of any and all toxins and bad materials that have built up in there. You drink nothing but lemonade and saltwater and a type of tea that used as a laxative.

Sounds…. fun. Yeah. Yum-mo.

There’s nothing like a steady dier of lemonade and liquid poop inducers. How is this healthy??? Shitting yourself to death seems sort of like it might be the opposite of healthy. Except, that it makes sense. You are cleaning out your body and all the junk it has lining every cavity within and getting a clean start.

But who’s to say that any old teenage ballerina who isn’t eating can just claim that she is “fasting”.

Do people still fast for religious or cultural reasons anymore? Remember Ghandi? Remember that guy? He stopped eating to put an end to violence and war. Can you imagine if somebody here in our country tried to do that? LOL. I can see it now… and it ain’t pretty. First, people would think the person was out of his fucking mind. Then, everyone would say, “Fine. Go ahead and starve then, asshole.”

I believe George Carlin says it best: “Rich bitch don’t wanna eat? Then, fuck her!”

Then, you have people like my sister, Jessica, who routinely goes on what she calls “The Jenny Coke Diet”. This diet involves inhaling enough cocaine that you have no desire to eat and you can’t seem to stop bouncing off the walls. Here, I’ll show you: On The Jenny Coke Diet…..

Off….

On…..

Off….

On again, off again, yadda yadda yadda. And don’t eat or drink anything when you’re around her while she is “dieting”, either.

“Hey, Jess. Whatcha drinkin’?”

“Slim Fast. I’m on a diet.”

“oooOOOOH… Lemme have a sip.”

“Okay, but be careful because there’s about a half a pound of meth in there.”

“Okay, then! See ya later!”

So, that’s a double whammy right there… a drug induced eating disorder. Shame on her. She’s a jackass. She’s gonna be all skinny and put it to waste in jail.Unless she gets busted for prostitution first.

Why am I related to this person?

Anyways… so, yeah. I’d like to go on a fast but I’m a little wierded out that people will assume that I have just found a damn good way to rationally starve my ass. Especially Dean who is on the lookout for signs of post partum depression and will think this is confirmation or some shit like that.

But, really, is there a difference?

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11 Responses to “Fine Line?”

  1. Little Sis Says:

    Today’s answer: Nutcracker

    I say stick with counting calories. I can not do that. I do not have the wilpower…I wish I did! Fasting sounds fun, but then I would look sick..been there, done that. I’ll just have to find time to exercise! LOL

    YOu can do it Kyra! (Don’t fast, it’s a lot easier to gain the weight back.)

    As far as your sister’s diet, I DEFINITELY don’t recommend that one. 😉

  2. ian Says:

    You had me at the picture of the burger. *drool*

    Ian

  3. Rocketstar Says:

    I was thining post pardom after your last post before the last…..

  4. Bond Says:

    I was on that diet many many many years ago… it sucked…

    HUGS K

  5. Lois Grebowski Says:

    I’d try the burger diet…

  6. ~paige~ Says:

    I am both weirded out and intrigued by the whole fasting business as well. i am not sure i could do it thouhg. i love me some food.

    i am with “little sis” on the avoidance of your sister’s dieting choice too btw.

    i do like lois’ suggestion of the burger diet. yumalicious. maybe that is why i am currently on weight watchers though. i followed the burger diet to a “t” in the past

  7. Brian in Mpls Says:

    I used to be on that diet a teen a day keeps everyone away

  8. Dixiechick Says:

    Kyra,

    Don’t fast … it’s not good for the body. You will actually not loose any weight by doing that.

    Simply cut way down on your carbs … rice, potatos, bread, sweets, etc … and in your spare time get a little exercise. Make sure you eat 3 healthy meals and day and 3 healthy snacks … it’s amazing how much weight you’ll loose.

    I did the Atkins Diet and lost 90 lbs … of course, I’ve put about 50 of it back on because I couldn’t stay away from temptations… but I am once again doing the low carb, lots of protein…

    SMOOCHES

  9. Thomas Says:

    Nothing wrong with counting calories, but it’s probably best not to fast, especially if you’re trying to lose weight (I’ve heard that your metabolism really slows down when you fast to conserve energy, so you don’t lose as much as you would if you had consumed at least 800 calories a day).

  10. the108 Says:

    Oh, hell no. I do my healthy way. I would like to see some medical documentation that fasting really does help rehabilitate and detoxify your body to improve it, though. I would never fast to lose weight. I just don’t uderstand why this is okay and not considered an eating disorder.
    And, my sister is a fucking idiot. All the way around.

  11. TopChamp Says:

    My diet: recently it has been eat mostly veg and whatever bits I have found in the back of the freezer or cupboards (and walking everywhere coz busses cost money…) which has remarkable health benefits it seems.

    However payday has passed and I have spent the last two days on the salt and vinegar twirls and jam sandwiches diet (hangover muchies).


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