The latest thing these days is fasting. I’m reading about it in every magazine and all over the internet. I’m even considering giving it a whirl but IU’m very confused about it.
I’m not understanding what the difference is between a fast and an eating disorder. It seems that a fast is considered a noble thing especially if you do it for religious or health reasons and an eating disorder is a bad thing.
Problem is… they don’t seem to have any real differences.
The most famous “fast” is called the Master Cleanse. The idea behind this one is that you force your body to rid itself of any and all toxins and bad materials that have built up in there. You drink nothing but lemonade and saltwater and a type of tea that used as a laxative.
Sounds…. fun. Yeah. Yum-mo.
There’s nothing like a steady dier of lemonade and liquid poop inducers. How is this healthy??? Shitting yourself to death seems sort of like it might be the opposite of healthy. Except, that it makes sense. You are cleaning out your body and all the junk it has lining every cavity within and getting a clean start.
But who’s to say that any old teenage ballerina who isn’t eating can just claim that she is “fasting”.
Do people still fast for religious or cultural reasons anymore? Remember Ghandi? Remember that guy? He stopped eating to put an end to violence and war. Can you imagine if somebody here in our country tried to do that? LOL. I can see it now… and it ain’t pretty. First, people would think the person was out of his fucking mind. Then, everyone would say, “Fine. Go ahead and starve then, asshole.”
I believe George Carlin says it best: “Rich bitch don’t wanna eat? Then, fuck her!”
Then, you have people like my sister, Jessica, who routinely goes on what she calls “The Jenny Coke Diet”. This diet involves inhaling enough cocaine that you have no desire to eat and you can’t seem to stop bouncing off the walls. Here, I’ll show you: On The Jenny Coke Diet…..
On again, off again, yadda yadda yadda. And don’t eat or drink anything when you’re around her while she is “dieting”, either.
“Hey, Jess. Whatcha drinkin’?”
“Slim Fast. I’m on a diet.”
“oooOOOOH… Lemme have a sip.”
“Okay, but be careful because there’s about a half a pound of meth in there.”
“Okay, then! See ya later!”
So, that’s a double whammy right there… a drug induced eating disorder. Shame on her. She’s a jackass. She’s gonna be all skinny and put it to waste in jail.Unless she gets busted for prostitution first.
Why am I related to this person?
Anyways… so, yeah. I’d like to go on a fast but I’m a little wierded out that people will assume that I have just found a damn good way to rationally starve my ass. Especially Dean who is on the lookout for signs of post partum depression and will think this is confirmation or some shit like that.
But, really, is there a difference?