I’m not a lesbian, but I’m also not afraid to admit when I find a woman sexy. The reason I say that I’m not a lesbian is because I don’t ever think that I could fall in love and have a romantic relationship with a woman.
But I could have sex with one.
To the horror of my Republican friends out there, I shall now admit that I have had more than one sexual encounter with a woman. I see no problem making out with a girl and I’ve had quite a few threesomes back in my day between me, a guy and another girl. And, it was fun. Damn fun.
Nowadays, the threesome is out. I’m married now to someone who’s hands would be ripped from his body if he ever layed them on another woman. And it’s not even the sexuality of it. It’s because I’m the only person that Dean has ever had sex with and, for some reason, I like to keep it that way.
I have seriously considered getting someone over here to give him a blowjob, though.
For some strange reason, the thought of him with another woman gets me all hot and bothered, but I don’t actually want him to do it. (Hear that, Dean-o! You do not suddenly have permission!) I save my weird sexual fantasies about watching Dean score for my masturbatory moments where they are safe and unreal and not life shattering.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been there already, but I can safely say that there are a few chicks that I’d have some crazy sex with if given the chance. In fact, I have discussed this with Dean a great deal and have narrowed it down to a top three chicks I’d like to fuck.
Okay, so there was no narrowing it down. Three was all I could think of.
But they are:
Kate Hudson is my number three pick. This is partly because she is so damned cute and partly because of her personality. She seems very fun and outgoing and down to earth and I dig it. Her smile gets me. She’s a chick I can see myself hanging out with, dancing on a bar somewhere. She passes the ponytail test. The ponytail test is a weird thing I do when I decide whether or not a girl is hot. I could never be with a woman who wouldn’t look good without makeup on and if she’s the type to never throw her hair back into a messy ponytail, then she’s not for me. Kate could rock a ponytail. I’d hit it.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is my number two girl I’d fuck. In fact, she is the girl I primarily fantasize is having sex with Dean when I’m masturbating. I never imagine him with blondes which is fine with him as he prefers brunettes as do I. JLH has a fantastic rack for being as tiny as she is. Cute smile, lovely features and she also passes the ponytail test. I’ll bet she’s hot even when she first wakes up in the morning. I don’t care for her acting or singing, but I’ve got to hand it to her that she’s very pretty.
My number one all time chick I’d like to fuck is Kat Von D. A lot of you probably have no idea who she is, but I consider her to be the hottest chick on the planet. Kat is a tattoo artist on the TLC show Miami Ink. I love her. She has stars tattooed on her face and is always all done up in her own style. If given the chance, I would rock her world. I don’t even really know why, either. I just, literally, think she is gorgeous. Kat…. call me.
You had to have seen this coming since most of you know I just love to get people to confess things they normally would be waaaay too embarrassed to admit.
Name three people of the same sex as you that you find extremely attractive. This is not admitting that you would have sex with them, just stating who you consider to be very, ridiculously good looking.
Let’s hear it.