Inside the mind of America’s (raunchy, foul mouthed, overly opinionated, sexually aggressive, incredibly offensive, fly by the minute, ridiculously absurd, often times erratic, psychologically questionable) Sweetheart.

A Mama’s Pride May 29, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — the108 @ 4:55 pm

Guess who’s accidentally of her meds again and doing weird shit?

Thaaaaaat’s right. It’s me. I’m guilty.

Within 24 hours of not having my medication, I obsess furiously over strange things. This weekend found me meticulously resizing and adding all of my cartoons to my sidebar for everyone’s enjoyment. And then, the mother ship called me home as I received a cryptic email from an old friend who I do not know.

I understand that this statement makes little to no sense whasoever.

Allow me to explain:

The Army has now made it a rule that soldiers are not allowed to blog without each post being read by their commander before they submit it, something I wasn’t aware of until I received the email from my “friend”.

Apparently, Dean was aware of this and as a result, hasn’t blogged because, although he doesn’t really blog about the military, he finds it a huge pain in the ass to have every post read before getting permission to submit. So, he’s been lazy.

But, back to the mysterious email.

So, I get this email and it is from someone I obviously know as they know my family and I’m guessing was stationed with us at some point. He wouldn’t tell me who he (or she) is because they didn’t want me to know, but it is a soldier in the Army who is wanting to blog anonymously. From what I understand, they’ve been writing political blogs from a soldiers point of view for a long time but decided they wanted to start fresh. I was asked to design a template for him/her and so, I did.

Which we all know seriously fed my obsessive, compulsive disorder. I was in heaven.

I spent the whole weekend doing this fucking shit and if you want to see it, you can do so by clicking the link under my soldier blogs section “Unknown Soldier”.

But it wasn’t the template that gave me my proudest moment this weekend. That honor goes to this little girl:

Olivia totally warmed my heart yesterday by performing a procedure that, literally, brought tears to my eyes and took my breath away. It involved these bar stools:

If you look closely at the bar stools, you will notice that each one has a set of eight rungs that connect the four legs together to stabilize them. At both the top and the bottom of each leg there is a set of two rungs that sit about two inches higher than the opposite rungs. Depending on how the stools are turned, they can either look shorter or taller and I tend to keep them with the higher rungs facing forward.

Yesterday, I was sitting here with Dean-o chatting about some kind of nonsense, when I noticed Olivia standing quietly in front of the bar stools examining them. She was very, very quiet and appeared to be visibly upset about something.

I poked Dean and silently nodded in her direction with a look of confusion on my face and the two of us sat there wondering what the fuck she was doing. A two year old child watching a set of bar stools is a little odd.

And then…. I noticed it.

One of the bar stools was turned sideways so that the lower rungs were facing forward. Olivia was fretting over this as I sucked in my breath and whispered, “oh, my god…look!” to Dean. It was at this moment that he got it as well.

Olivia was having an OCD moment.

She peered at the bar stools for a few seconds longer and then she performed the act that brought tears to my eyes and my hand to my chest: The small, blond one reached out and turned the bar stool to it’s correct position.

I about fell over sobbing. Dean sat snickering.

Olivia didn’t stop there. In her quest to rotate the heavy, wooden bar stool, she scrunched up the little rug that sits underneath it and this caused her even more despair. For the next few minutes she was lost in her own little world of obsessing and straightened out the rug, no easy task with a bar stool on it. Once all the stripes in the rug were perfectly lined up, she was satisfied and trotted off happily leaving me and Dean just sitting there mouths gaping open.

“That is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed,”I said.

“Dear god, “Dean replied. “I have another one to deal with.”

I have never in my entire fucking life been as proud as I was at that moment. My daughter has just totally added a few thousand cool points to her already staggering amount.

Holy shit. She is a genius.


4 Responses to “A Mama’s Pride”

  1. Brian in Mpls Says:

    It is good to know that OCD will live on šŸ™‚ I am always a little afraid that I will be dying and the nurse will be some bitch who will torment my last moments by leaving doors open, towels on the rack uneven or tying my hospital gown lopsided.

  2. Mags Says:

    Poor girl. I hope she’s just detail oriented and doesn’t have OCD.

  3. Dixiechick Says:

    How adorable…. she is “monkish”… oh and I love the pics of her too…

    Will visit “Unknown Soldier” soon.

    Hope you had a good weekend even though you didn’t have any meds…

    My week/weekend events are posted.

  4. Thomas Says:

    Yeah, I took Dean off my list of links today (his postings are too infrequent). Hopefully one day he can blog to his heart (and cock’s) content.

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