Brian also interviewed Mags and this morning she put up her answers. I enjoy reading these interviews a great deal because not only do I learn something about the interviewee, but I also have a tendency to learn something about myself and they really make me think.
Brian’s last question to Mags was this:
“If you had a pardon from the highest person in the universe that says you could kill one person and totally get away with it including no one would know it was you who killed that person. Would you do it? If so, who would you kill and why?”
The minute I read this, my initial instinct was to say that I wouldn’t kill anyone. After all, I’m a Buddhist and can’t even squash a spider. But then, a little thought snuck into my head that horrified me. I WOULD kill someone… someone very specific. And, I’d do it in a heartbeat and feel extreme joy in doing so.
The person I would kill is this man:
This is George Michael Hentz better known as “Mike”. He is my father.
Mike was extremely abusive to me and as a very small child landed me in a hospital unconscious from his beatings. He is the reason I was removed from my home and sent to foster care while he sat in jail. He is the reason my body hurts when it rains.
Last month’s Game On! featured a “fact about me” that was in reference to me breaking 12 bones in my body. Most of the bones listed were broken by this man right here. My spine, my skull, my shoulder blade….. etc. He did some serious damage. At one point, he hit me in the face with his belt and then adamantly denied doing it to the police. The problem was that he left the imprint of his belt buckle on my face and so they knew damned well he had done it.
Mike is an abuser. He hurts people both physically and emotionally. He is also a rapist, a kidnapper and a child molester. I know this because I have been a victim of his and because he continues to do these things to people in his life and, like my mother, they are too scared of him to run away.
As a child, I contemplated killing my father. I was angry, but strangely, not angry for what he had done to me. I was just angry that such a person existed, angry at the images in my head of him hurting others and would fantasize about beating him to death with a baseball bat.
I guess I would be being dishonest if I said I could never kill anyone because the truth is, I could kill a man like Mike Hentz any day if I thought it would prevent him from hurting another person or child. So far, the justice system has failed in keeping this guy off the streets and although he is jailed frequently, he is somehow always released and he is always creating more victims.
He is the one person I am afraid of.
I have recurring nightmares about him hunting me down to get revenge for him going to jail. I fear that my own children will be targeted by him, a fear that stems from him calling me out of the blue a few years ago after contacting a private investigator who delivered to him my phone number, address and a load of classified information about my husband in the military. Which was a tad disturbing. The man is a madman.
I feel that anyone who harms children should die. It makes me feel weird because I am quite typically a very peaceful person who hates violence and could never hurt anyone. But if given the chance to take a dangerous person off the street and take away his chance to hurt another human being, I’d take it. Men like him leave deep scars on people and society and if killing him would save anyone else from having to deal with such pain, then I’d be the first to volunteer.
I don’t know what this says about me. Maybe it is my dark side emerging. The thing is, I’m not angry with him for what he’s done to me but angry with his ability to continue doing this at all. I have made peace with my feelings and have forgiven him for his actions towards me, but then I imagine others living in fear or having their lives wounded by him and it makes my blood boil.
Maybe I’m too honest. I’m not a killer…. far from it. But if I’m going to be honest with myself then I’d have to admit that this is just one of the many horrid people who need to be eliminated. I love my family too much to sit in jail for the rest of my life, but if it were PERMITTED….
Mike would be a funky smell in the basement by now.